SHARE THIS

Back in my youth, my old man always had a couple of dogs. None were trained and they were kept in a pen in the back yard, to be used for hunting. The problem was, he never spent any time training them. He was under the impression that because they were beagles, he could set them loose in a field and they would become some type of champion hunting dogs through “instinct.”

What resulted every weekend was the inevitable “running of the hounds,” as I referred to it. Once he released them from the back of his pickup truck they would tear off into the field, flushing out every bird and rabbit they got the scent of, and always too far off in the distance that made bagging the game impossible. This was followed by my old man’s colorful cursing, using words and phrases that made me accustomed to what I eventually heard again, when serving in the Navy.

Then there was the extra hours waiting for the dogs to return after they got on a deer and took off for parts unknown, with the faint howling heard occasionally from the mountain tops. More cursing from my old man, who I aggravated even further with my chuckles and negative comments about his “hunting” dogs, as we waited in the dark of night.

His dogs came and went back then. As one went missing, it was replaced with another he picked up. I actually believed his stories of having traded them. More likely, he shot a few out of anger on days when I chose not to accompany him hunting.

I actually saw him shoot a dog, hitting it with pellets of #6 bird shot, when I was 25.

Yes, my old man was an asshole.

I took the dog to the vet, told the veterinarian it was a hunting accident, and paid an obscene amount of money for an emergency visit. I took ownership of that dog. It was the last time I hunted with my old man and the last time I owned a dog, until recently. OK, not so much owned back then, as refused to return to the functional alcoholic. Years later, when the dog died of old age, I refused to get another. Work, kids, and a wife were enough to deal with.

The reason for the stroll down memory lane? Because things have changed with dog ownership. Most of it for the better, such as preventing animal abuse, but some of it seems to have taken a step backward. Especially when it comes to fools breeding them, or even good people trying to give a dog a good home.

By the time I was seriously considering getting another dog something changed in society. I had figured I would end up with a mutt (I use the term affectionately), but mutts were being called “hybrids,” or “designer” dogs, and idiot owners of dogs were selling these mutt puppies as something special, for hundreds of dollars, to naïve buyers – well over $1000, in some instances. Kennels made themselves into “Adoption Centers” that demanded a minimum donation to rescue a dog – a mutt in almost every case – that involved providing information on yourself that would give an identity thief reason to celebrate.

Call them what you like: “Hybrids,” or “Designer” dogs, the joke is on those who pay private sellers for them. There are numerous online websites of these “specialty” dogs that aren’t recognized by any breeding society, except themselves. Adoption Kennels give legitimacy to these faux breeds with designer names, by using those names, when listing a dog that is available.

On one website, you can “register” your mutt for a mere $50. If you are really serious about increasing the population of unwanted dogs, you can even name a new “hybrid” – if you are the first one to successfully produce puppies from two different breeds of dogs. Of course, your choice of name isn’t protected from another breeder who registers on another one of the numerous hybrid dog websites that are available.

One online registry of mutts, calling themselves, International Designer Canine Registry, lists the hundreds of mutt cross-breeds in existence.

You may have heard of the Labradoodle (Labrador + Poodle), or the Shnoodle (Shnauzer + Poodle). They are among the more popular mixed breeds, as they don’t shed. They are also damned cute, but they are what they are, and celebrities posing with their “designer dog” only contributes to a myth that all mutts are credible breeds, which encourages people to start breeding them for profit. The truth is, most people aren’t going to pay for a mutt from a private seller and most of the litter ends up in a shelter, or worse.

Here’s some you probably aren’t aware of:

Pomchi (Pomeranian  +  Chihuahua)
Swissneese (Great Pyrenees  +  Great Swiss Mountain Dog)
Fo-Tzu (Shih Tzu  +  Toy Fox Terrier)
Pom-A-Nauze (Pomeranian + Miniature Schnauzer)

Want to see more “designer” dog names? CLICK HERE.

One of the most legitimate arguments by animal activists against breeding these “hybrid” dogs is that too many are inheriting the worst genes from each of the parents. Health problems are numerous among some mixed breeds, especially when those such as the bulldog, with recognized respiratory, nasal, and jaw problems, pass those traits onto a mixed puppy that could have those problems amplified.

Maybe I can make a few bucks. One hybrid I haven’t seen listed is a mix of Bulldog and Shih Tzu.

That’s right. If successful, I’ll sell Bull-Shihtz.

Or I can enter one in numerous competitions for The Ugliest Dog. All of which, below, are the result of mixed breeding.