SHARE THIS

Everybody is trying to sell me something. Religion, siding, windows, lawn care, and other items I’m not looking to buy. They used to come to my door. Neighbors tell me that the latest sales pitch being made door-to-door in West Easton is magazine subscriptions. As I said, they used to come to my door. A few paragraphs from now I’ll tell you why they don’t anymore. A couple of young men, claiming to be college students trying to earn “points” of some kind that give them rewards, are making the rounds in West Easton. I don’t know if it’s legitimate. My neighbor said the one that rang his bell showed him a certificate from the outfit he works for (sorry, he didn’t recall the name of the company), complete with his photo attached.

“Help me through college,” was the opening pitch.

Like most cold call sales attempted on the front steps, this young man’s potential customer wasn’t buying magazines, either.

The question you might be thinking is, How am I going to stop being bothered?

You could be polite, but that I found, often makes them believe you are easy prey. They try harder to engage you in conversation. Especially the religious ones on a “mission.”

“Have you ever read the Bible?” Answer that one either way and you’ve fallen into the trap of them wanting to discuss it with you.

You could deal with them one at a time. Tell them, “No,” as soon as you recognize it’s a sales call and slam the door. That will send a clear message to that person, but he isn’t taking notes and if the company he works for decides to send out a different salesman you’ll have to repeat the door slam method.

You could waste their time and have them read you the Jehovah version of religion for a couple of hours before telling them that you’re late for a devil worship sex orgy. While your neighbors would appreciate you keeping them sidetracked talking to you, it may only succeed in the disciples writing your address down so more skilled messengers from God can pay you a visit later, in order to save your wretched soul.

There is a number of things you can do that aren’t really successful, but a couple of things are.

One is to ask for their business license that they had to get from West Easton to be in compliance with the borough ordinance. That will usually get them scurrying out of town. Few will actually spend time and the $20 to get one.

The other is the one I use and I haven’t had anyone knocking on my door pushing their crap on me since I taped it up. It’s a simple piece of paper. Small, but placed strategically on my door where it can’t be missed.

It reads, “NO SOLICITING. If you weren’t invited, go away.”

Let them think behind the door is a nasty S.O.B., as they silently back away.

I don’t care. I’m undisturbed and didn’t miss two minutes of my favorite show, TeleTubbies, having to deal with a someone selling me a knife that can cut through tin cans, which I didn’t know was a “must have” item for my home. Though, I’ll have to put an “except” clause on my sign. I have a craving for Girl Scout cookies.

On a more serious note, never let anyone into your home, especially if there is more than one. Too many people are robbed while one keeps you occupied showing you something in a room, basement, or attic, while they other gives a reason to disappear. The excuse by one, of getting a tool or paperwork is used to steal jewelery and cash.

UPDATE: 8/27

Imagine my surprise when my bell rang yesterday evening and there stood a young man with folder in hand, who greeted me with a toothy smile and, “Good evening, Sir! I’m with Met-Ed!”

Damn it…

To make a long story short I asked to see an I.D. He opened up his folder and showed me a half hidden picture of himself in some type of plastic sleeve. Upon closer inspection I found it to be a computer paper printout of his face and underneath the picture were the words, “Met-Ed Representative”. Like that proved anything. He tried to tell me he was canvassing the area to find out if I was receiving the cheapest rate from my electrical service provider.

“If you’re from Met-Ed wouldn’t they know if I was receiving their lowest rate?,” I asked.

“We’re just making sure,” was his response.

“And do you know how to read?, I asked, as I pointed to my, “No Soliciting” sign on my door.

“Oh, I didn’t see it,” was his excuse.

“Well, you don’t mind me making sure you got your business license from Borough Hall then, do you? You have to have one to conduct business in West Easton,” I told him.

“I wasn’t aware of that,” he told me in response.

So I told him to get one before going to any more homes. He thanked me and immediately went to my neighbors house.

I called the police and the officer came to my door about 20 minutes later. Apparently this kid is working for a company, though it isn’t Met-Ed. Some outfit that gets a commission for every person they can sign up to some contract for electricity with any other company. These companies hire many people without jobs (some homeless) and send them out trying to make sales for whatever they think can be sold. The police officer wasn’t aware that West Easton has an ordinance requiring a business license.

I need to buy a dog. A big, mean looking dog.